loser

my days are spent doing nothing. my nights are the worst. they are spent thinking about my life, and what went wrong. how i ended up being a loser. my academic life is a failure. my lovelife, a disaster. my family life is chaotic. my financial status can be summed up in one word - bankrupt. i have lost everything i have in my life, my self respect and self esteem included. i think i also lost my friends. not a single person of my so called friends truly understands exactly what i'm going through. this time, i have to do everything on my own. i have to be better. i have to get up from being a loser. i have to toughen up. after all, i am all alone. it's just me......its just me.

with failure comes humility

my life is falling apart. i totally failed the specialty board exams. i'm totally out of control. i have been crying my heart out for the past 3 days, and it's quite annoying already. i have made so many plans, but apparently, it will take some time to get things started....i guess i'll have to wait for another year (for the next exam). everything is turning in the wrong direction. nothing good is happening to me. is this karma? lessons learned: (1) thou shall not covet anybody's boyfriend (2) prepare adequately (3) with failure comes humility.

dark moments

i just hurdled my diplomate exams. after several months of preparation, its finally over. im just waiting for the results. i hope to god that i passed that exam. it will open a lot of doors for me. there's one more aspect of my life that i havent ironed out yet. i just realized that i'm the jealous type. in a fit of anger, i confronted an intern who has been quite cozy with my love.everything just turned black.....and after that, i was remorseful. i wish i had not done that. it was a cheap move. totally out of character for me. gosh........these are really the darkest days of my life.........i hope this wont last. this is just a phase.