good karma

life is full of surprises. i have always felt that forrest gump was a bit overboard when he said that "life is like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you are gonna get". but actually, i'm beginning to see the wisdom in what he said. what goes up, must always come down. i never thought that i would reach this point in my life. i'm on top of the world. everything that happened to me during the first quarter of the year seems like a blur. and now, i'm reaping the harvest of my hardships....... i lost my job. i lost someone i really cared about. i lost my financial security. i failed my specialty boards. i lost my self esteem. i really felt like the world was crashing down on me. but then, there is no way that i'm going to allow things to stay that way. if i have been through the worst, surely, the best is yet to come......and it did!

life gets better

im at the peak of my life....never felt better!

all in a day's work

my usual day starts at 6am. the usual breakfast and shower. rounds in the hospital then clinic. i struggled at first, but eventually, things turned out well (surprisingly). i didn't know that i would reach this point in my life. i know i'm successful. but unfortunately, i know that something is still missing. i do not have a closure. i haven't finished what i have started. i still have so much angst. and well, eventually, i know it will catch up on my decisions in life. i was not able to express myself well and say the things that i wanted to say or do things that i wanted to do. there is a lot of hesitations and "what ifs". and frankly, i don't even know how to begin fixing my life........

pain and sorrow

a lyrics from a song said: " sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrows, but if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow". it's been in my head for a few days now, and i dont know why. too much angst perhaps. or just too cerebral. i hate thinking about things......... what could have been..........

i missed blogging

its been two weeks since i last posted a blog. na miss ko din. sa ngayon, work is my priority. although there are times when it's really difficult to wake up and get dressed because i know that there is so much to do, and in my perception, there's so little time. i haven't even been to the mall for quite some time. i need a new set of clothes, since i lost around 14 lbs already....kaya lang, ayoko pang bumili ng bago.....not yet, anyway, unless i reach my desired weight, (which is 120lbs) . well, i'm getting there.....malapit na. discipline and focus. i'm getting what i want in my life. i'm going where i want to go. and yes, i'm on top of my game. never been better!

boxing

i really love boxing. i think it's a very emotional game. pacquiao (also known as pacman) and marquez just had a rematch. pacquiao eventually won via split decision, but it was a hell of a fight! i enjoyed every minute of the show. it was a perfect example of courage, perseverance, hope, and yes, winning and losing. eventually, these boxers will eventually retire. their knees will wobble, their punches will not matter anymore. they may even have "dementia pugilistica" when they grow old. BUT......they will definitely be remembered. their names will be etched in this generation's heart. its fascinating, really.....i even forgot my own problems.

when a door closes, a window opens

when i realized that nothing will happen to me if i dont make a move, i started to do something about it. i started going to my clinic. but well, the first few days were frustrating. i have a clinic, but i have no patients. my frustration turned to anger and disbelief and low self esteem. then, i went to seek other places, and then things just fell into place. i started having patients, and gradually, gaining back my confidence and self esteem. looking back, i realized that negative emotions will not go anywhere. there was a time that i was asking god how pathetic life could be, since a jeepney driver is earning more than what i was earning. but things changed. i almost lost my faith in God. its true. when one door closes, a window opens.......everything done according to His plan.