circle

it has been close to three weeks since i left the hospital. suddenly, everything changed. the routine is not there anymore. i missed the action. i missed the fun. i even missed the hordes of patients that line up at the out patient department, like bees swarming around....... and then i realized that everything is just a cycle. we start with new things in our life, once we're through, we start again with something new. Scary and fun at the same time. To quote Forrest Gump: "Life is like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you're gonna get". And he is so right......so damn right.

crossroads

there comes a point in our lives when we are faced with big decisions. these are decisions that would greatly influence the course of our lives. what comes next? tough...... i feel sad and happy at the same time because i am about to finish my residency training. Happy, because i finished 4 years of training (and that means sleepless nights, endless calls, numerous patients, multiple grand rounds). But well, admittedly, quite sad, because i'm leaving evrything behind. And that means leaving my one true love behind, my halley's comet.....he's a constellation of all attributes. i do not really know what the future brings for both of us. i am not expecting a lot. hopefully, he loves me as much as i love him. it is what will really keep me going.

birthday

my birthday is coming soon. it's 2 days from now. i will be 32 years old. the bad news is that im no longer in the calendar. well, the good news is im still in the thermometer! great! but in retrospect, those 32 years were beautiful years. i did a lot of things that i am proud of. i have touched the lives of so many people. i have made a lot of mistakes as well, but i believe that everything is a choice. decisions have to be made. we do not always get what we want in life, but then again, where is the challenge if we will always get what we want? life is a gamble, we should place our bets strategically. we may not always hit the jackpot, but enjoying the game is really what matters most.

heaven

where is heaven and how do we get there? they say that heaven is for people who try to become better than they actually are. i say that heaven is a place on earth. heaven is spending time with people you love. heaven is happiness and contentment with who you are, what you have and where you are from. life is a journey, happiness is the journey. at the end of the day, what really matters most is how we lived our life. how we created our niche in this world, our little piece of heaven on earth.

tired

my day started just like my other days. i wake up feeling weary because i didnt have much sleep. actually, i had plenty of sleep but i wake up at 2 am, and suddenly falls asleep again at 3am. i woke up feeling tired, wondering if i'm doing the things that i'm supposed to do. life has been tough lately. and i have been feeling the burden. i hope to wake up one day feeling good about myself.

on cellphones

the cellphone is one of the most amazing inventions ever. it literally connects people. however, right now, i just want to throw mine in the trash bin. he hasn't called.he hasn't even sent a single text message. it s killing me and making me sick.after being in his arms for a few hours, its unfair and totally out of line. is this his way of saying that he doesn't need me in his life? perhaps. and perhaps, i should re think my options.

chess

chess is a mind game, very cerebral and impersonal. But somehow, chess reminds me of relationships. its all about timing, and making the right moves. the queen is more important than the king, although losing a rook or a knight may cost you the game. i realized that having relationships is almost like playing a chess game. you'll never really know if you'll win or you'll lose, and sometimes, winning is not really that important. it's all about having played the game well. Eventually, having played a lot of games makes you a better player. Anticipating the opponents moves. Planning ahead of time, and finally, going for CHECKMATE.